My intention to write for the 40 days of Lent was thwarted by life getting in the way. A search to find a new home, packing, my dad’s sudden illness, moving, working, unpacking and so on…you get the picture. It just didn’t happen. And it’s okay.
It’s Easter Sunday. Probably one of the most unconventional Easter Sundays that I have had in my 55 years. And that also is okay.
There may not have been an inviting spread of food with family gathered at the table. There may not have been an egg hunt and little ones scurrying about searching for their supply. There may not have been a lamb cake, angel food cake with strawberries and the April birthday celebrations.
Much like the Grinch at Christmas, the symbolism and reality of this holiest of Sundays has burst open in ways that I have never experienced.
My Father’s house has many rooms; if that were not so, would I have told you that I am going there to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am. You know the way to the place where I am going.”
John 14:2-4
This scripture has always had a place in my heart. It speaks to me in many ways.
Christ says in the above passage that he is going ahead to prepare a place for me/us. Clearly, he is speaking of our eternity in His presence. I look at it also as he is always ahead of the game. He knows our needs before we do. He has it all under control. The past six weeks I just had to believe that. Lay it at his feet. Put it down and have faith. Now many will testify, I didn’t do it with much grace, but I tried. God knows that I tried.
Much like His human self expressed in the Garden of Gethsemane on the night before the crucifixion….emotions were evident. I was anxious, sad, lonely and eventually at peace. It is a process to put something down and look to the heavens and say…”Here you go! It’s all yours. I got nothing. I’m just going to allow you to lead. No more fighting the process”
At one point that night Jesus ‘falls to the ground and begins praying.’ What is he praying to God about at this intense moment? He prays: “Father, all things are possible for you; remove this cup from me. Yet, not what I want, but what you want.” (Mark 14:35, 36)
So, in that moment of indescribable anxiety- an anxiety no one else will ever endure-an anxiety He endured for the love of His father and the love of his people-coukd it be that Jesuse drew from a deep and perfect well of joy when He said these words: “Not my will, but yours be done”?
In anxious moments, it will encourage me and give me hope to remember the deep ocean of joy eternally availed to the Son is now availed to me, for I am His and He is mine.
I remind myself to remain and be encouraged. To remain faithful even when all seems lost and anxiety takes over. To remember He has gone ahead and prepared a place just for me. And you.
Be a blessing.
Inspired Insanity; Living On A Whim and a Prayer 