I recall a conversation with my mother. Her best friend’s mother had just passed away. Through tears she said she was in the season of her life where her friends were losing their parents. What seems like five minutes, here I am in that very season.
This past week I held space as I watched my best friend navigate the unchartered territory as her mother transitioned from this life to the next.
My friend and I have been through the changing seasons of each other’s lives. Marriages, the birth of her children, divorce, moves near and far. We would hold space for each other when we had no idea what holding space was. We’ve laughed until we couldn’t breathe. We stepped in to mother each other’s children when the other had momentarily lost hope. We shared meals. We argue and love with the fierceness of the most devoted sisters.
This week was different. I stepped back yet stepped forward. I did what I knew to do. Offered what logical help I could. Love on Reyna and do her families laundry. A good balance of Mary and Martha. I kept busy while being holding space for my friend.
Holding space for someone is not easy. We have to set aside our feelings, our hurts, our opinions our agenda. I had to allow her to go through what she was facing at that exact moment. It was difficult for me to not want to voice my thoughts and feelings-but what she needed was space to cry, vent, yell, rationalize her own thoughts . She needed a safe place. A sacred space. A healing embrace provides that. A space to express her deepest fears, hurts, frustration, sadness, happiness and joy without judgment, bias and opinions.
As I held space for my dear friend it freed her to hold space for her children.
Holding space is the pebble thrown creating the never ending ripples in the sea. It’s far reaching effects are never truly grasped.
Be a blessing,
–Complete my joy by being of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord and of one mind. -Philippians 2-2